The Rule
Accepting fate which is something beyond your control is the best medicine for depression.
What is this rule?
Have you ever wanted something very much and tried very hard to get it? You have sacrificed a lot of money, effort and time to get what you want. In the end, you did not get what you want. That, my friend is fate. My definition of fate is something occurred which is beyond our control. The truth is, we don’t know what is good for us, but God knows. So, whenever you want something very, very much but you did not get it, remember that maybe the thing that you want is not good for you. Please accept whatever happened as fate because fate is God’s will for you.
This rule is not restricted to only on anything that you want, but also on any result that you get after putting in your best effort. For example, if you are a student and you have studied very hard for an exam but the result that you get is poor, then that is fate as well and should also be accepted as something beyond your control.
Accepting fate should not be an excuse of not trying your best or being lazy by thinking that no matter how much you work at something, your result is only to get as much as you are fated to get. To us human, fate is something hidden and mysterious. We don’t understand how fate works on us and we don’t even know what our fate is. We don’t have to understand how fate works. We should just work according to our logical thinking, that is, most of the time the result of our work is proportional to the amount of the effort that we put in. Therefore, put your best effort on something, pray and leave our fate to God.
In Islam, fate is an important part of our faith since to believe in fate is the sixth Principles of Iman. As Muslim, we believe that our fate has been predestined by God and written in the Book of Decrees (Al-Lauh Al-Mahfûz) as mentioned in the Al-Quran. The time of our death, the day we got sick, who our parents are, who our friends are and even the stone that we accidentally stepped and fell down - everything, trivial or important – was written in the Book of Decrees (Al-Lauh Al-Mahfûz).
Muslims should believe in fate and should know that their fate as destined by God is the best for them. Due to this, Muslims should always have their faith in God. Muslims should believe that all the events that happened in their lives happened for a reason. Regardless of whether an event is pleasant or painful, everything is from God and those events are trials from God. Those who are thankful when they receive pleasant event and those who are patient when they receive painful event will be loved and blessed by God and will receive heaven as reward in the hereafter. The acceptance of fate by a Muslim is described in the Al-Quran as follows: “No calamity befalls on the earth or in yourselves but is inscribed in the Book of Decrees (Al-Lauh Al-Mahfûz), before We bring it into existence. Verily, that is easy for Allah. In order that you may not grieve at the things that you fail to get, nor rejoice over that which has been given to you. And Allâh likes not prideful boasters.” (Al-Hadid: 22-23)
Getting an illness or a disease is also considered fate because it is beyond our control. Furthermore, for a Muslim, an illness is a trial from God and will result in rewards in the hereafter provided he/she is patient during the illness period. Again, this is not an excuse of not taking care of your body since your body is an ‘Amanah’ ( responsibility) from God. If you abuse your body in this world, you will be responsible for not taking care of it and you will have to answer to God in the hereafter.
How to implement this rule?
As humans, we tend to be happy when we receive pleasant things such as additional money, promotion in our job etc and we tend to be sad when we received unpleasant things such as loss of wealth, loss of job etc. Being happy and sad is normal for a human being. The most important thing to remember is that regardless of what happens to us, good things or bad things, all are destined by God as trial for us.
Whenever things don’t go your way, you can cry, or get angry but eventually accept that whatever happens is already in the past and cannot be changed. Accept the solution even though it is bitter, be cheerful and life goes on. Pray to God to replace whatever it is that you have lost with a better one.
When things don’t go your way, it is normal to be stressful, but prolonged stressful situation could lead to a mental condition called depression. Depression is a mental condition whereby a person who is under a prolonged stressful situation will feel sad, useless and not having mood to do anything almost all the time. Depression is usually but not necessarily triggered by a loss of something. Depression is a dangerous health condition because chronic depressive people will have a tendency to hurt themselves. It is a good idea for each person to watch out for their friends of the symptoms of depression because usually depressive people will tend to shy away from other people and they will usually insist that they are fine and that there is nothing wrong with them.
There is also some stigma in Malaysia
“Failed in business in 1831. Defeated in legislature in 1832. Again failed in business in 1833. Nervous breakdown (depression) in 1836. Defeated running for speaker in 1838. Defeated running for post of elector in 1840. Defeated running for congress in 1843. Elected to congress in 1846. Defeated running for congress in 1848. Defeated running for senate in 1855. Defeated running for vice president in 1856. Defeated running for senate in 1858.” Can you guess who this person is? He is Abraham Lincoln who finally in 1860 was elected as the 16th and one of the greatest presidents in American history.
In most of the developed countries such as the UK
The benefit of this rule
If you understand and follow this rule, you will always be a happy person and will never get depressed.
More about this rule
I would like to relate my personal experience regarding this rule. Due to a bad investment, I was once diagnosed with depression. During the depressive period, for weeks I had been feeling helpless, not having mood to do anything and worthless. The moment I realized that what happened was beyond my control and began to accept what happened as God’s will was the moment I slowly started to recover from depression.
There are two important things that a person must do when he is faced with a serious problem. The first thing is to get assistance in solving the problem from your loved one. There is no use in keeping the problem to yourself when you don’t have a solution to the problem. Many people make a mistake of not wanting to receive help from others because they do not want to trouble others. But the truth is the state of your health is even more important to your loved ones than anything else in this world. Many people are willing to sacrifice money, time and material just to see their loved one to be happy and healthy, and I am sure your loved ones are no exception.
The second thing to do is to accept the solution to your problem even though it is bitter. Many problems seem not to have a solution just because the problem owner does not want to accept the solution. For example, supposed you invest in a dubious investment scheme and lose a large amount of money. So, now you are having a problem with money. Well, if you are currently serving a car loan then perhaps the solution to your problem is to sell your car and to buy a motorcycle. It is a bitter solution and due to this reason that many people will overlook this as a solution.
Another way to help you with your problem is to get closer with God, our creator. This is normally a self-fulfilling advice because people tend to automatically seek God’s assistance when they are in trouble. One of the best ways to seek help from God is to pray frequently. And one of the best ways to pray is by reciting the Quran. And one of the best known verses in the Quran which is good to recite during distress is the ‘Verses of a thousand dinar’.
I am sure many of you have heard of the ‘Verse of a thousand dinars.’ ‘Verses of a thousand dinar’ are verses no. 2 & 3 from Surah At-Talaq. The verses and the translation are as follows:
Translation:
“And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allah has set a measure for all things.”
Among the benefits that come from reciting the ‘Verses of a thousand dinar’ are:
- God will provide him a solution to his problem
- God will give him rezeki (wealth) from unexpected sources
- God will fulfill his needs
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